Thaaaaaaat's puketastic.

We wake up this morning feeling great.  It's 7:30 - super late for our house!  We come downstairs and do diaper changes AND fresh clothes!  (Very atypical.  We usually spend the day 1/2-dressed or in jammies.)

Leo's appetite has been non-existent the last few days.  I have been offering him lots of different foods at all times of the day to get something in.  Usually we do oatmeal, pancakes or eggs.  All of those seemed like too much work for me.  I was feeling super-lazy so I offered him yogurt.  He ate half.  This is where Elena comes in.  Leo usually leaves just enough food to fill Elena.  I then offered Leo a hearty piece of jelly bread. 

He wouldn't touch it.  He was being fussy so I knew he was hungry and just needed to eat something so he could happily play.

I went to the kitchen and threw some instant Cream of Wheat in a bowl.  It had about 30 seconds before it was ready and, to entice Leo, I pulled the syrup out of the fridge.  All of a sudden, I heard a choking noise and looked down to see Leo jumping up and down with his arms flapping all around. 

Then he erupted.  Pinkish water went flying across the floor.

I scooped him up in a state of confusion and concern.

He turned his head to the left and the right while erupting again, making sure to cover all of the hair on the left side of my head and my shirt.

Thinking quick (yeah right) I made my way to the sink to see if we could point him toward the sink and save what was left of the kitchen.


While shaking his head to the left and the right, he erupted one more time.

He opened his eyes and I asked him if he was okay.  He looked at me with the saddest, most confused look on his face.  I pointed to the floor and my shirt and said "That's called 'puke' buddy" and he repeated "Poot".  Yup.  He looked at my hair in utter disgust and said "Poot".  Yup.  He touched the front of his shirt and said "Poot".  Yup. 

I slowly looked around to survey the damage.  Poot.  Was.  Everywhere.  I mapped out my plan of attack.  Get out of these clothes.  Block off kitchen.  Shower.  Mop floor.  I was much more logical and not nearly as spastic as I thought I would be in this situation. 

I read stories all the time about moms dealing with puke and I always shuddered at the thought of having to confront it myself.  When I was younger, I had a tendency to overeact at any situation.  After 15 years of ridicule from my 3 older siblings, I am much more level-headed.  Uh...thanks guys???

I still don't understand what happened.  We're showered and all cleaned up.  Leo was happily running around the house within moments of puking.  He even sat down to the jelly toast (so say those jelly-covered cheeks) and even tried some of the Cream of Wheat. 

 I feel like a real, legit member of the "Mom Club" now.  As an official member, you must have a minivan, your child must puke on you, and you must live in sweatpants.  Well, that's how you get into MY mom-club anyway.  If you do your hair and make-up every morning, wear jeans and nice shirts, shave your legs on the regular and only eat what's on your plate and never your childs plate, you're not invited.

And Elena?  I speak from experience when I warn you that I wouldn't stand so close to him right now...

(For another hilarious post about puke, check out Kim's blog - Barf Boy 2010)


  1. ugh. Yep. You're officially inducted now. You get premier membership if you manage to get through this without getting sick yourself. That requires some serious mom skillz.

  2. Sorry to hear about Leo's upset tummy. I remember the first time Iris puked on me. I DO remember thinking, "Yup, it's official. I'm a mom."

    Can I still be in you mom club even though I don't drive a minivan, I do wear jeans, and I do my hair and makeup every weekday? Pretty PLEEEASSEE? ;)

  3. Of course Julie!!! You can be our leader ;) Working moms are all in my club. Their jobs are harder than mine!!!

  4. I keep waiting on that moment. I thought for sure when Jeff (my husband) puked all over the bed last week that I would have it happen then. Cole has thrown up a couple of times but it was more like advanced spit up. I'm glad he's feeling better and you totally handled that better than I would imagine I would. I think I would have joined in with it on my head.

  5. lol..yeah i had to come read your story when i saw puke in the title. LOL! it is so gross isn't it? I hope elena isn't next.

    actually though, I haven't many puke on me stories. So you have me there. thankfully, mine puke only on others...seriously. Most of the time they puked over the years they always puked on grandma....or strangers.

  6. Ugh...we were there this past Sunday. Yuck, yuck. I cleaned up so much puke that I was certain I was sick, but...NOT YET! Woo, hoo!

    Hope everyone is feeling better soon!

    ps Awesome title for your post.

  7. Oh. Dear. I had an experience like that when I nannied one summer. The 6 year old puked all over the kitchen floor-- I made the mistake of starting to usher him to the bathroom. Huge mess. I can't wait until I get to experience that with my own. Oh, actually... yeah, I can wait. Hopefully a loooooong time.


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