All things Gale: The cure for the dog days of summer

The heat we experienced these past few days mandated regular ice cream therapy.

As a result of this ice cream therapy, it has been brought to my attention that Leo is currently experimenting with some facial hair. This is a serious move, so we sat down and discussed his options. I immediately thought WWDD? *Cue dramatic music* So, I brought up Some Keys to a great Moustache**:

1) Mental Preparation: Growing a mustache entails a lot of responsibility. You can’t just walk around willy-nilly like it doesn’t mean anything. The mustache must become you, and you must become the mustache. Embracing everything about the lifestyle and representing everything that wearing a mustache embodies must be your utmost concern.

2) Physical Preparation: Take a look in the mirror. Do you look good enough to wear a mustache? If you don’t think so, or if you think that this is a joke – stop reading and get back to work. If you look at Ron Burgandy and think, "That guy’s got it together!" then you’re ready.

3) Maintenance: Proper maintenance of your mustache is essential. We suggest a small mustache comb, used twice daily in a comb-like fashion? Anyone serious about the mustache will realize combing is mandatory. A daily shampooing will give your mustache a luxurious sheen and a beautiful glow.

4) Networking: Your new mantra should be "The mustache is where it’s at." It’s time to start a revolution. Look around you. It may seem like you’re surrounded by virgin-lipped, closed-minded bald-facies. Don’t lose hope; others like you exist, but they’re afraid to show themselves – just like you. Seek them out; working together you will have confidence. Get out there, network: mustache unions are forming all over the country, from Reynoldsburg to Dublin! The more you show yourself, the more others will do the same. You know it’s right, you know it’s natural. Be wild, be free.

5) No matter what you say, the mullet is the perfect compliment to your mustache. A Trucker's Cap also compliments the mustache quite nicely. The Mustache Era is upon us. So stop shaving your lip. Grow a mustache and stop making fun of others for sporting one.