7 Quick Takes (#31)

We listed our house for sale one month ago.  For the last month, we have had a showing every single day except for about 3 or 4 free days in there.  I am now a reluctant staging expert.  Allow me to present the "Staging Your Home to Sell" Quick Takes Edition

Say hello to your new best friends


uh....just kidding???...

1) The first and most important rule of staging a home to sell when you have wee babes is STAY OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!

This is easier said than done when you are in 90+ degree heat in the summer.

2) In order to achieve that "No one makes a mess here and we are perfect" look, rent a storage unit...or two!

3) Prepare to spend a ridiculous amount of time in your vehicle

Make it into a fun game called "We drive in circles through the neighborhood until the prospective buyers finish walking through the house" or the always entertaining "Duck and hide so the people don't see us staring at them from inside our parked vehicle."

4) Your vehicle is your new home.  Ensure there is ample space to store your dirty laundry, convection oven, dirty pots leftover from dinner and that fresh cantaloupe that stinks up the entire house!

5) Skip the fresh baked cookie smell.  The buyers will probably be lame sugar-free people and you'll just end up fat.  Trust me.

Speaking of food, invest in a high quality probiotic.  You're going to need a gut of STEEL to withstand the onslaught of fast and frozen foods...

6) Not one to be left out of the chaos

 

Roman decided "I'll see your hell, and raise you one first tooth...

...You can sleep in Texas"

7) And the children.  Oh the poor children.

Leo came up to me sobbing, "I don't want to do this anymore.  I want my toys back and I want to make a mess!

So, we made a mess...And then in a panic I quickly cleaned it up when he went to bed.  

But we found other ways to entertain the children.

And we let him play with his food

it's the Syrup Hippo

And if you aren't a believer in Murphy's Law, you will be by the end of it all.

If your husband is gone and you are in the middle of sorting four piles of laundry, someone will ask to see the house in the next half hour.  But not when your husband is home to help you.  Oh no - they will wait until he leaves for work and you are all still in your jammies.

If you let your kids stomp in a puddle while you scrub the floor with 10 minutes left before the next showing appointment, your son will sit in the water.  While you get him fresh clothes, he will strip down and run into the house in a frenzy because he has to pee.  While you help him and get him fresh clothes, your daughter will copy her brother.  But not by sitting in the puddle.  Oh no - she's going to strip down past the diaper and run around the parking lot finding puddles to stomp in.

If you ask the neighbors if you can crash at their house for a few minutes during a showing since the people always come at the beginning of their appointment, they will not come.  Instead, they will arrive one hour and 15 minutes late while you are in the middle of changing poopy diapers and cooking dinner.

If you leave your children alone for 5 minutes, they will color on the walls

 and toss mulch into your parking spot.  

So, my real advice is: Just don't do it...